Archive for August, 2009

Mutant Chronicles (2008)

Aug 26

Posted by frostmedia in Featured, Internet Phenomenon, Movie Reviews | 2 Comments

Let’s waste money on a huge cast so that the rest of the movie sucks…

poster_mutant-chron Okay, okay, if you have even heard of this movie you are probably wondering why we watched it in the first place. WRONG QUESTION! What you should be asking yourself is, ‘Why haven’t I watched this movie.’

I’ll tell you why…

You haven’t watched this movie because it looks bad. The trailer tries real hard to push this movie as some sort of epic installment of some sci-fi that you just have to watch. The TRUTH is, it’s awful. Like, really, really awful. Becca and I wanted this movie to be so bad it was good, but it was so bad that it was just bad. It plays with a pace that fits a book-to-movie. Like they had so much information to get through that the plot is useless and unreliable.

I will say this however, within the first twenty minutes one saving grace was hollywoods, John Malkovich. Two lines into his role I said aloud, ‘This movie will be worth it JUST for the Malkovich’. And then he died about ten minutes later. Apparently he was payed a TON of money for his brief cameo. All the ‘on location’ shots must have been denied making this movie much like, SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW.

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It has a huge cast of actors that were probably drunk when they were like, ‘Yeah! I’ll do it!’ Although it doesn’t stretch far from the usual caliber of Ron Perlman’s other films. The only other thing written by Philip Eisner was….(drum role please) EVENT HORIZON, which was awesomely bad.

I hate it when trailers use OTHER films music for their trailers, I heard a song from THE CROW, and at least two other rip offs.

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Tags: Blog, Eyes, horror, Movie Review, movie trailer

Let The Right One In (2008)

Aug 20

Posted by frostmedia in Featured, Internet Phenomenon, Movie Reviews | 3 Comments

Isn’t Sweden supposed to be a nice place?

It took us a solid year or so to finally watch what everyone was calling, ‘the best’. It didn’t take long to realize that we had indeed been missing something very, very special.

First matter of discussion. This movie feels timeless. Although it is very clearly set in ‘82 or something, this movie was made to wear. We know for a fact that twenty years down the line this movie will hold as a personal favorite. Not to mention, the fashion in Sweden in the early eighties is very mid-seventies Americana, and it all looks so god damn amazing.

Secondly, regardless of this being a vampire flick this movie is creepy. We can personally say that seeing a man hang another man by a tree and pursue in a LOT of bloodletting is a little stomach turning with or without creatures that lure you into dark alleyways only to suck your blood. Just the idea of a vampire killing a human is a little more romanticized than a middle aged man trying to blood-let someone FOR a vampire.

The absence of horror-cheese made Let The Right One In feel eerily real. Although it’s important to remember, and we’ve said this before, that when watching foreign films, as a foreigner, you lack the ability to understand what’s shitty acting and what’s true to life. As far as we can tell, this movie is real feeling because of the great acting, but as far as we know, it could be considered a shitty monster movie in it’s home country.

In situations like this, I laugh it off. Especially if it’s chillingly creepy. For example, the first time someone showed me [REC] I laughed at all the scary parts as though it was another run of the mill shit zombie movie. The first time I watched it with Becca, we peed our pants.

***SPOILER***Also, wondering if anyone else is ever going to mention the vampire vag? Gross! Greg Explosion told me that in the book, Eli is a boy…which means…the v.v. is actually dick scars. Gross.