Let’s waste money on a huge cast so that the rest of the movie sucks…
Okay, okay, if you have even heard of this movie you are probably wondering why we watched it in the first place. WRONG QUESTION! What you should be asking yourself is, ‘Why haven’t I watched this movie.’
I’ll tell you why…
You haven’t watched this movie because it looks bad. The trailer tries real hard to push this movie as some sort of epic installment of some sci-fi that you just have to watch. The TRUTH is, it’s awful. Like, really, really awful. Becca and I wanted this movie to be so bad it was good, but it was so bad that it was just bad. It plays with a pace that fits a book-to-movie. Like they had so much information to get through that the plot is useless and unreliable.
I will say this however, within the first twenty minutes one saving grace was hollywoods, John Malkovich. Two lines into his role I said aloud, ‘This movie will be worth it JUST for the Malkovich’. And then he died about ten minutes later. Apparently he was payed a TON of money for his brief cameo. All the ‘on location’ shots must have been denied making this movie much like, SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW.
It has a huge cast of actors that were probably drunk when they were like, ‘Yeah! I’ll do it!’ Although it doesn’t stretch far from the usual caliber of Ron Perlman’s other films. The only other thing written by Philip Eisner was….(drum role please) EVENT HORIZON, which was awesomely bad.
I hate it when trailers use OTHER films music for their trailers, I heard a song from THE CROW, and at least two other rip offs.
Popularity: 10% [?]
#1 by Jeremy on September 9, 2009 - 4:21 pm
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You’re a mad man! This movie ruled hard. How many people got their faces impaled in this movie? So many that I lost count, which easily nets it at least a B. It had Malkovich with a nerve disorder or something. Ron Perlman’s ugly mug kicking ass in a monk robe and learning that a book is a terrible shield.
The technology in the movie was awesome, too. It was an anachronism lovers paradise.
And Steiner kicked ass. Dude practically gets melted, and he still fucks shit up.
I’m going to give it an A- because the mute chick shouldn’t have talked and they shouldn’t have killed her because she was a megababe.
It wasn’t a good movie, and not a so-bad-it’s-good movie, it’s just a movie to watch when you want to see shit get fucked up.